Working out

Given the recent, umm, inflationary phase that I've been going through, fueled by the abundance of good local bread and pastries, my Onion daily calendar entry for today seems apropos:

STATshot
A look at the numbers that shape your world.

HAVE WE BEEN WORKING OUT?

1. Little bit...little bit

2. Just the forearms, but what a difference

3. Oh, yeah...hardcore

4. You know, a sit-up here, a push-up there

5. Jazzercise every Monday

6. Nah, I'm too fat

7. Baby, God just made the clay, I've got to sculpt it