More Onion

In a week in which we learned that Iran is evidently not Iraq and that freedom fries are no more, here's one last little snippet from my Onion calendar before hitting the sack:

U.S. To Arab World: 'Stop Hating Us Or Suffer The Consequences'

WASHINGTON, DC - In a strongly worded ultimatum Tuesday, President Bush warned the Arab world to "stop hating the United States or suffer the consequences." "You have exactly 10 days to put aside your deep-rooted resentment and rage toward America and learn to like us," said Bush in a message broadcast live to 17 nations via Al-Jazeera. "If you fail to comply, prepare to have the full might of the U.S. military brought down upon you." Bush also threatened to carpet-bomb any Arab region whose populace continues to be angry about America's longtime campaign against Iraq and the decade-long U.S. sanctions that have led to the malnutrition deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqi children.