The battle of Switzerland

As I mentioned yesterday, there has been a war of words in the letters to the editor of the FT about Switzerland. I can't link to the letters themselves because you have to be a subscriber, but I'll do my best to paraphrase or steal the best quotes. Oddly enough, it all evidently started with an article about how London has become a financial hot spot. In response to that article--which I don't think mentioned Switzerland at all--an expat living we'll call Ms. H in Zurich wrote a letter to the editor last Wednesday that included the following:

"...London is little more than a series of villages strung together by broken train rails and supported by a miserable infrastructure...the public transport system is filthy and dilapidated...Anyone who has spent even an hour in Zurich knows that trains in Switzerland are so punctual one can literally set one's (Rolex) watch by them...I finally settled here because I can combine a fantastic career and be water-skiing n the lake just minutes after work...It's good to be an adult in Switzerland. I wish I could say the same for London."

Well, as they say...it's on! The next day brought two counter-arguments. According to the first, from Munich:

"While not wishing to dispute the characterisation of London's infrastructure as described by your well-credentialed water-skiing correspondent Ms. H, it is quite difficult to imagine a country that has tried harder than Switzerland not to be at the centre of anything to do with Europe...I would venture a guess that the diversity of vibrant cultural influences and traditions to be found in the filthy, ill-mannered backstreets of London would knock the stuffing out of Zurich's stuffy, self-satisfied social scene."

And the second, from an expat living in Lugano:

"...I would give Ms. H a few more years to see if she changes her opinion slightly after having her trash and paper recycling looked into by her neighbours, her personal financial/legal records searched on the internet by her colleagues...Everything works here like a dream, really. But you pay for that by being surrounded by pathetically boring people and no culture. The Swiss make rules for everyone else, but they themselves are exempt as and when they please. They are as stingy with their emotions as they are with their pocketbooks."

Zing! Naturally it couldn't stop there. On Friday there were two more responses, the first an appeal to reason:

"...Can anyone name a city of a similar size, say in the UK or the US, with more culture and fewer pathetically boring people?...I have always explained the boredom of Geneva by its lack of a critical size rather than by accusing the Swiss people, culture and character...Zurich certainly offers a fantastic quality of life for people ready to live at a slightly slower pace than they would in London. And in any case, Europe's more vibrant cities are only an hour's flight away."

This was followed by a letter from Vienna slamming Swiss business:

"...In the realm of business, the Swiss have paid dearly in the last few years for their national approach...the picture is just not what appears to be; and morally, well, need much more be said about what we now know about the shameful behaviour of Swiss banks?...Great skiing, wonderful cheese and wine, chocaholic heaven and super toy stores--news that merits merely a postcard."

After a weekend break, they were back at it. First there was a retort from an expat (at least I think so) from Zug, regarding the earlier letter from Lugano:

"Please join in my quest to free the Lugano One. I hope that my campaign will succeed in freeing your correspondent from her Swiss hellhole. She is clearly being held against her will, and being denied the opportunity to encounter the vomiting traders and chippy English burglars that so enrich life in London."

This was supplemented by another response to the same letter:

"I wonder...if we actually live in the same city: Lugano...Give me call (I live just across the lake from you) and let's join some of my friends at the Grotto Ticinese for a good Swiss--or Texan--steak and a bottle of Merlot! You'll see for yourself if we are so boring, after all."

Followed by another appeal to reason, this time from London:

"Your correspondents prove beyond doubt that any comparison between two cities of totally different size, geographic location and history is invidious to both. A comparison of Zurich with Southampton or Leeds might be fairer, and highlight the relative successes and failures of urban societies of similar sizes better...Zurich was the city which kept the creative spirit of German literature alive during the dark years of the Nazi era. Zurich cinemas are a true showcase of global cinema, with foreign films exhibited in the original language, in contrast to the ghastly dubbing which is the norm in Germany and France."

By Tuesday things showed no signs of slowing down. There was a letter from a former Swiss resident of London:

"The Swiss never had victories on battlefields to speak of, never had colonies, never had social upheavals or revolutions, never had social disasters. The Swiss, unlike their neighbours, do not even strike. The Swiss have no poets, no composers, few philosophers, and hardly any painters and writers of international acclaim. No wonder the Swiss are dull. However, when we measure wealth and quality of life not just as gross domestic product per capita but add some less tangible factors such as functionality of infrastructure, medical care and pension system, as well as level of education and safety of our children on their way to school, Switzerland actually is paradise. So wealth and dullness are not mutually exclusive, but potentially mutually inclusive. Oscar Wilde must have been thinking of the Swiss when he said: 'It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.'"

Then another blow is struck for Switzerland, this time by a former Londoner living in Riehen (just outside of Basel):

"...what has finally driven me to desert my home country is the marked drop in courtesy levels. Increasingly, Britain is marked by a 'Me first' culture. Not only is there an unacceptably high crime rate but there is also aggressive language and threatening behaviour which is symptomatic of the decline in respect for fellow-citizens. Traditional values are still very much in evidence in Switzerland. Punctuality is a given, as is polite behaviour at all times. Service standards are extremely high. This stress-inhibiting quality of life more than compensates in my book for any perceived boredom factor or lack of cultural variety."

But this was tempered by a quote someone else sent in, which must be one of my favorites:

"With reference to recent correspondence, perhaps Sir Peter Ustinov (a long-time resident in Switzerland) may be allowed the last word on the subject: 'In Switzerland, practically everything is forbidden. What is not forbidden, is compulsory.'

All of which brings us to today, which featured only one response (perhaps the battle is losing steam?)--yet another taking the Swiss side, this time from someone in the UK:

"The recent 'London versus Zurich' debate in the letters column should be broadened to consider which elements of Switzerland would enhance the British way of life. How about neutrality, independence from the EU, an extension of democracy by referendums, banking secrecy laws, the attraction of foreign private capital and savings, immigration laws that actually work, superb public services, low taxation, an excellent transport infrastructure and an ability to attract the spending power of wealthy overseas citizens just for starters? Can any reader seriously tell me that the above list, included in any UK political party's manifesto, would not result in a landslide (as opposed to an avalanche) victory at the next general election?"

And that--almost certainly my longest post ever--is the debate about expat life in Switzerland in a nutshell. I've not inserted many of my own views, but maybe I'll reflect on it on my train ride to Frankfurt tomorrow (try not to be too jealous) and think about a response when I get back...