Wrong side of the tracks
With the exception of occasional frustration when I'm trying to assemble or fix things around the house or yard, I'm extremely slow to anger. Introspective and angst-ridden, sure...but angry? Almost never.
Today, however, I'm feeling mighty pissed off, but on Gretchen's behalf rather than my own.
First, a little background: we live on the wrong side of the tracks, to the extent that such a thing actually exists in our community. A major road splits our area in two. To the north are the swankier residential areas, the subway, fancier restaurants, etc. To the south is more affordable housing (to the extent that $500,000 for a basic starter home is affordable), buses, and ethnic restaurants. Not to mention ethnic people...driving down the biggest street near our home you'll see as many signs in Spanish as in English, as many women in headscarves as in miniskirts, as many Africans as African-Americans, etc. We live to the south, and we love it--we're in a great neighborhood, we like the diversity, the bus is actually a more convenient commuting option for me than the subway, and when we bought our house eight years ago we could actually afford it (we're only seven blocks south of the dividing line, but if you picked our house up and moved it north of the line it would probably be worth an extra $100,000 just for having "North" in the address). This is all important background information--it will make sense in a minute.
Anyway, as much as things have gone well since coming home, one of the biggest frustrations has been that Gretchen has not been able to find a playgroup to meet other moms and to have Baby socialize. Longtime readers will recall that Gretchen had "her Moms" back in Basel, who were not only a great resource but also great friends. For now she's continuing as a stay-home mom here, but it's much harder to find other stay-home moms than it was in Basel since a much higher proportion of women here seem to return to work (to be clear, this is NOT a veiled criticism of mothers returning to work, and we're not holier-than-thou about Gretchen staying home...besides, I don't know how long we can afford it!). She's much too positive a person to make a big deal about it, but I'm sure both she and Baby would benefit from more interaction, and at the same time she could certainly be a resource to other moms in light of some of the issues Baby has had.
By now you may be wondering what playgroups, the north/south dividing line, and my anger have to do with each other. Well, it turns out that there's a local support group for stay-home moms that everyone keeps recommending. It sounds perfect, except for one small problem--you're literally not allowed to join if you live south of the dividing line. I suppose there could be valid reasons for that, but the fact is Gretchen doesn't have access to what could be a great resource for the simple reason that we live seven blocks in the wrong direction.
We've had a sympathetic friend sending Gretchen information from their bulletin boards about issues we're having with Baby, and we were excited to see that one of the messages was about a new playgroup that was forming. Surely, we thought, they wouldn't keep her from joining a playgroup FOR BABIES FOR CHRISSAKE based on where we don't live, but sure enough Gretchen asked if it would be possible to join and got a reply that, sorry, if you don't live in the proper zip codes you can't join. Are they afraid we're going to bring Third World diseases, use improper language, or not be sufficiently well-versed in proper childrearing etiquette? Is it a mitigating factor that most of our friends live north of the line and would assuredly vouch that we're well-behaved and bathe regularly?
I don't know why, but for some reason I'm as pissed off about this kind of elitist BS as I've been about anything in recent memory. I think I need to go have a glass of red wine and chill out...
Today, however, I'm feeling mighty pissed off, but on Gretchen's behalf rather than my own.
First, a little background: we live on the wrong side of the tracks, to the extent that such a thing actually exists in our community. A major road splits our area in two. To the north are the swankier residential areas, the subway, fancier restaurants, etc. To the south is more affordable housing (to the extent that $500,000 for a basic starter home is affordable), buses, and ethnic restaurants. Not to mention ethnic people...driving down the biggest street near our home you'll see as many signs in Spanish as in English, as many women in headscarves as in miniskirts, as many Africans as African-Americans, etc. We live to the south, and we love it--we're in a great neighborhood, we like the diversity, the bus is actually a more convenient commuting option for me than the subway, and when we bought our house eight years ago we could actually afford it (we're only seven blocks south of the dividing line, but if you picked our house up and moved it north of the line it would probably be worth an extra $100,000 just for having "North" in the address). This is all important background information--it will make sense in a minute.
Anyway, as much as things have gone well since coming home, one of the biggest frustrations has been that Gretchen has not been able to find a playgroup to meet other moms and to have Baby socialize. Longtime readers will recall that Gretchen had "her Moms" back in Basel, who were not only a great resource but also great friends. For now she's continuing as a stay-home mom here, but it's much harder to find other stay-home moms than it was in Basel since a much higher proportion of women here seem to return to work (to be clear, this is NOT a veiled criticism of mothers returning to work, and we're not holier-than-thou about Gretchen staying home...besides, I don't know how long we can afford it!). She's much too positive a person to make a big deal about it, but I'm sure both she and Baby would benefit from more interaction, and at the same time she could certainly be a resource to other moms in light of some of the issues Baby has had.
By now you may be wondering what playgroups, the north/south dividing line, and my anger have to do with each other. Well, it turns out that there's a local support group for stay-home moms that everyone keeps recommending. It sounds perfect, except for one small problem--you're literally not allowed to join if you live south of the dividing line. I suppose there could be valid reasons for that, but the fact is Gretchen doesn't have access to what could be a great resource for the simple reason that we live seven blocks in the wrong direction.
We've had a sympathetic friend sending Gretchen information from their bulletin boards about issues we're having with Baby, and we were excited to see that one of the messages was about a new playgroup that was forming. Surely, we thought, they wouldn't keep her from joining a playgroup FOR BABIES FOR CHRISSAKE based on where we don't live, but sure enough Gretchen asked if it would be possible to join and got a reply that, sorry, if you don't live in the proper zip codes you can't join. Are they afraid we're going to bring Third World diseases, use improper language, or not be sufficiently well-versed in proper childrearing etiquette? Is it a mitigating factor that most of our friends live north of the line and would assuredly vouch that we're well-behaved and bathe regularly?
I don't know why, but for some reason I'm as pissed off about this kind of elitist BS as I've been about anything in recent memory. I think I need to go have a glass of red wine and chill out...
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