'Fraidy cat

I've gone through the full range of emotions leading up to this whole baby thing. To be honest, my first reaction wasn't excitement, but rather abject terror. That was followed by periods of denial, apprehension, excitement, etc. (Gretchen was saying maybe that's one reason it's good to be pregnant for 9 months--it gives you more time to come to grips with the whole thing.) I have to say the worst of my fears have mostly past, although I've noticed lately it takes forever to get to sleep while my mind spins about the forthcoming changes. Having said that, I still have a number of fears, some rational, most probably not so rational:

• VOMITING: Gretchen was stunned to learn this was one of my biggest fears, but the fact is, while never formally diagnosed, I believe I have a whopping case of emetophobia. I'm not talking about the normal, every day spitting up that babies do (although I do fear I'll actually have to do more laundry). I'm talking the stomach bugs featuring projectile vomiting that kids bring home and, more alarmingly, pass along to their parents. Laugh if you must, but just thinking about it freaks me out.


• TANTRUMS: I was thinking about this today when a neighborhood child was having one of those meltdowns that was so loud I suspect half the neighbors were contemplating calling the police. I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with a full-on, drop-to-the-floor-of-the-supermarket-and-scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs tantrum.


• GIRL STUFF: I just don't get it. And the teen years are already enough to put the fear of God in me. 'Nuff said.


• ACCIDENTS: What if she falls down and hurts herself and when I have to take her to the doctor, I'm immediately suspected of being an abusive parent? (Hey, it happens on "ER"...)


• MONEY: I suppose this means we can't just blow all our money on vacations, doesn't it? All of a sudden the whole concept of job security means waaaaaay more than it used to.


• COMPETITIVE PARENTING: DC is one of those places where people seem to provide everything and then some for their kids. I hear the stories of over-the-top birthday parties, activities scheduled from morning until night, etc, and I don't want that. On the other hand, I don't want to be that neglectful dad that won't do the little things for his kids. How do you strike that balance?


• OTHER ILLNESSES: Getting beyond vomiting for a second, kids seem to come down with every illness under the sun. This is alarming because: (a) I dread the helplessness of not being able to make them better and: (b) I dread them passing along their illnesses to us. It seems like every parent I know, some of whom haven't had more than a mild cold in years, all of a sudden spend half of their life with a hacking cough, sore throat and/or pinkeye brought home by their kids.


• THE BUSH PRESIDENCY: It just doesn't seem like an auspicious time to be born, does it? I'm hoping this is mitigated by our living overseas...


• MUSIC: Let's face it, kids generally have atrocious taste in music...are we resigned to a future of listening to cheesy kids' music during long car rides until I want to claw out my eyeballs? (Only to be followed by listening to cheesy boy bands, with the same effect, as she gets older?)

And that's just scratching the surface. Yikes.

(And I'm not looking for reassurance--I figure all new dads probably deal with these kind of concerns. Except for the vomiting part, maybe...)