Crooner

As great as I think I sound when I'm singing alone in the car with the music turned up loud, the reality is that I probably have one of the worst voices on the planet. They could have my picture on the Wikipedia entry for tone deafness (although I suppose I'm not tone deaf in the truest sense of the definition--I can hear differences between notes, I just can't replicate them). One time when I was in high school or college my mom would hum notes and try to get me to match them--I thought I had nailed them, but she was literally crying from laughing so hard because I was so far off (or at least that was her story). The bottom line is that I really should never sing to anyone else unless I want to inflict cruel and unusual punishment (although, bless her, Mädchen actually seems to like it when I sing to her).

As if my bad voice weren't reason enough to remain silent, tonight I realized I also don't know the words to even the most basic of songs. We were getting Mädchen ready for bed and I was singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" to her, and this is what I sang:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder where you are
Up above the clouds so high
Like a beacon in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder where you are

Of course, it took twice as long as usual to get through it because Gretchen kept having to stop me to correct the words. Maybe someone sang the wrong version to me when I was her age?